Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
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Yes! Yes! Yes! V is for Vixen
#aging
#dirty
#funny
66 reads
1 Comment
A Whimsical Dream
A Whimsical Dream
I'm supping my tea
While i'm sat up in bed
Awaiting the dreams
As they enter my head
I meet a bunch of people
That are singing my song
As i'm up on the stage
But somethings gone wrong
Well i raise my arms
With a look of despair
And that's when i realised
I was completely bare
I run of the stage
Looking for something to wear
Where i meet a kangaroo
Wearing my underwear
And now i'm a cat
And i look kind of cool
Just messing around
With a ball of...
I'm supping my tea
While i'm sat up in bed
Awaiting the dreams
As they enter my head
I meet a bunch of people
That are singing my song
As i'm up on the stage
But somethings gone wrong
Well i raise my arms
With a look of despair
And that's when i realised
I was completely bare
I run of the stage
Looking for something to wear
Where i meet a kangaroo
Wearing my underwear
And now i'm a cat
And i look kind of cool
Just messing around
With a ball of...
#dreams
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#lyrics
#satirical
29 reads
0 Comments
Birthday Prose
I’m sorry I didn’t write you a verse for your birthday, because unlike pros today I chose to compose and expose my verbose prose which feels like it goes all the way up to the elbows. So, pardon my slippery delivery if it makes you feel a little quivery, but I’mma try to give you some lines that will make you crinkle your nose and maybe even curl your toes.
I didn’t get you a hallmark card ‘cause you know how hard it is for me to spit some barred rhymes in such a tight space, but you’ve seen my face and heard my grammar even though I stammer when I try to enunciate. Theoretically...
I didn’t get you a hallmark card ‘cause you know how hard it is for me to spit some barred rhymes in such a tight space, but you’ve seen my face and heard my grammar even though I stammer when I try to enunciate. Theoretically...
#birthday
#funny
#wife
47 reads
0 Comments
Went a-Courtin'
Sheaves of Willow. An incorporated Nudist camp on 110 acres on the banks of The
Hoochiecoochie River near Chattanooga. Operated by the Finley family since the
latter part of the 18th century. Once inhabited by alligators, deer, and herons now
a getaway for the uninhibited. Some years ago, the family annexed an old asphalt
parking lot from an insane asylum that had been demolished. They covered it with
sand and...Wallah! Crystal Beach.
Two small streets intersect in the community....
Hoochiecoochie River near Chattanooga. Operated by the Finley family since the
latter part of the 18th century. Once inhabited by alligators, deer, and herons now
a getaway for the uninhibited. Some years ago, the family annexed an old asphalt
parking lot from an insane asylum that had been demolished. They covered it with
sand and...Wallah! Crystal Beach.
Two small streets intersect in the community....
#funny
77 reads
4 Comments
Jowl Bob
In my previous existence
I was with a woman
Who offered to give me a blow job
I said "yeah, okay"
A few minutes later
After shedding necessary clothing
She began to blow
I at first thought
This was quite hilarious
But after a few minutes
Of anticipation
I said
"Do you fully comprehend
What a blow job is?"
I then explained to her
What it normally entailed
To which she went,
"Yuck!!!"I'm not putting that in my north, and south!"
My enthusiasm
Was...
I was with a woman
Who offered to give me a blow job
I said "yeah, okay"
A few minutes later
After shedding necessary clothing
She began to blow
I at first thought
This was quite hilarious
But after a few minutes
Of anticipation
I said
"Do you fully comprehend
What a blow job is?"
I then explained to her
What it normally entailed
To which she went,
"Yuck!!!"I'm not putting that in my north, and south!"
My enthusiasm
Was...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #sex
#satirical #sex
30 reads
1 Comment
Written on the Loo at Work
I’m just here avoiding work
in this ceramic cubicle.
Enjoying being as useful
as a hunk of cuticle.
If they say I’m here too long
I’ll say that my glands have been going wrong.
But likely they won’t, because they’re scared,
to know what I’ve done in this porcelain lair.
in this ceramic cubicle.
Enjoying being as useful
as a hunk of cuticle.
If they say I’m here too long
I’ll say that my glands have been going wrong.
But likely they won’t, because they’re scared,
to know what I’ve done in this porcelain lair.
#funny
46 reads
1 Comment
Enter : Mystie Knight
I guess she's had enough of
my bullshit
philanderer that I am
Mister Minister
always feelin philanthropic with my penis
givin out private semen sermons
during Bible study
with my favorite fuck buddy
Ms. Brooks...known for her famous
peach cobbler.
and just like me
Mystie Knight was cock and loaded
staring down at my stroke game
in contempt disdain and utter disgust
while I was steady taking 'ol girl to pound town
darkly amused at how I abused her trust
feeling somewhat masochistic
and...
my bullshit
philanderer that I am
Mister Minister
always feelin philanthropic with my penis
givin out private semen sermons
during Bible study
with my favorite fuck buddy
Ms. Brooks...known for her famous
peach cobbler.
and just like me
Mystie Knight was cock and loaded
staring down at my stroke game
in contempt disdain and utter disgust
while I was steady taking 'ol girl to pound town
darkly amused at how I abused her trust
feeling somewhat masochistic
and...
#revenge
#threesome
#BDSM
#dirty
#funny
99 reads
4 Comments
An American Hero
he was the first man to say
fuck this shit and mean it
he was literally tired of all the shit
enough of the shit show
this shit's gotta go
he no longer wanted to own his shit
but not just his
he was fed up with putting up with
everybody else's shit
as far as he was concerned
everybody was full of shit
he knew shit rolled downhill
so he was committed to put an end
to the shit once and for all
and that sentiment inspired him to
invent the world's first crapper
i salute you,sir as
i honor...
fuck this shit and mean it
he was literally tired of all the shit
enough of the shit show
this shit's gotta go
he no longer wanted to own his shit
but not just his
he was fed up with putting up with
everybody else's shit
as far as he was concerned
everybody was full of shit
he knew shit rolled downhill
so he was committed to put an end
to the shit once and for all
and that sentiment inspired him to
invent the world's first crapper
i salute you,sir as
i honor...
#funny
#LifeChangingMoment
#historical
580 reads
6 Comments
Zapped
#sex
#erotic
#BDSM #funny
#BDSM #funny
219 reads
8 Comments
Being a mother
Do you feel my wrath
Awesome!, Now go take a bath!!
Don't follow dad's path
Awesome!, Now go take a bath!!
Don't follow dad's path
#children
#funny
#haiku #mother
#haiku #mother
65 reads
8 Comments
lillyput (5-7-5)
The
Tiger
Lillies
Flowery
lyrical
minds
Singing
clitori
by Jemia
Tiger
Lillies
Flowery
lyrical
minds
Singing
clitori
by Jemia
#funny
#music
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
20 reads
0 Comments
Bugs Bite, So Bite Them Back
Flies annoy and Bzz Bzz Bzz around,
as long as there's garbage they'll always be found
One year as a kid I killed two flies
Placed them in my brother's burger,
devoured, with some shoe string fries
I recall a kid who lived a few blocks away
The family was dirt-poor,
his home needed to be sprayed
Every time I saw him he was insanely scratching his head
His hair was greasy and wild,
fingertips looked bloody red
I later found out that he was carrying lice
Filthy family they were,
house was inundated with mice ...
as long as there's garbage they'll always be found
One year as a kid I killed two flies
Placed them in my brother's burger,
devoured, with some shoe string fries
I recall a kid who lived a few blocks away
The family was dirt-poor,
his home needed to be sprayed
Every time I saw him he was insanely scratching his head
His hair was greasy and wild,
fingertips looked bloody red
I later found out that he was carrying lice
Filthy family they were,
house was inundated with mice ...
#funny
#memories
58 reads
10 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry